Harry Potter and the Deathly Pandemic | Kavya Shah

Instagram: @the_bibliofile

I have never wished more for magic to exist.

Dear Wizards and Witches,

A poltergeist is at loose,

Won’t you help us?

Rita Skeeter (mis)reports in The Daily Prophet.

Ironically, The Quibbler may be closer to reality.

Dear Hermione,

Can you just swish and flick,

And make all our woes go away?

The remembrall is constantly red,

Won’t you pay any attention to it?

I know we are only muggles,

But won’t you help us?

Everytime I read the Daily Prophet,

Its like having acid pops

From Honeydukes.

Dear Harry,

I know I called you stupid and egoistic,

But you’ve always been kind,

Won’t you help us?

You-know-who sucks on blood flavoured lollipops.

Oh, can someone just use the bubble-head charm?

The cornish pixies are apparently here to stay.

It seems someone has cast the cruciatus curse.

Dear Ron,

Won’t you help reverse it?

All the politicians at The Ministry of Magic

Are in a body-bind curse.

It seems there are dementors at loose,

Can someone please cast the patronus

Before it kisses us all?

Dear Dumbledore’s Army,

Won’t you help us?

We can’t play this game of exploding snap anymore.

The fidelius charm is cast over, mutated.

Revealed not even by reports anymore.

The grim lies in wait at every door.

Can you please make it disapparate,

Before it multiplies like doxies?

Dear Dobby,

Won’t you help us?

The healers are tired, exasperated.

We’ve resorted to herbology,

Divination but to no avail.

Every message is a howler from death.

Could you help us with the imperturbable charm?

Can they not wear the invisibility cloak?

Dear Professor Pomona Sprout,

Can we use the mandrakes to cure from the dark mark?

Does the Room of Requirement have something that might help?

Dear Fawkes,

Does this scene not make you cry,

Because that may be the last cure?

The Mirror of Erised would

Show me with a time turner in hand,

Can we rennervate everyone?

Go back to November of 2019,

When nothing was this grim,

Because I want you to stay!